A Tale Of Two Kitties

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* Humour: A Tale Of Two Kitties
Posted Apr 12, 2004 - 01:10 AM
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Inspiration and Advice "The cat ate my homework" and other excuses...

My two cats have taught me many good home office habits. Most of these lessons have been learned the hard way, so maybe I can help you avoid the heartbreak of blank computer screens and other home office disasters by sharing a few tips I have learned along the way.

1. Save your work...again, and again, and again...

There are many ways to lose all your computer work. o­ne of them is if your cat falls off the monitor o­nto your keyboard.
(One for Bugger...)

2. Always treat your cat with the utmost respect (you are allowed to be excessive in this matter; the more subservient you are, and sometimes even downright grovelling, the better).

If you toss your cat off your desk out of anger, her first reaction is to take all paperwork with her.
(Two for Bugger...)

3. If anything at all EVER goes wrong with your computer, first check the location of your cat.

One day I suddenly could not keep a window open o­n my computer. No matter what I did, no window would stay open, o­ne would flicker o­n for a moment then disappeared again. I rebooted, that didn't help. Finally I moved my cat 1 centimeter to the left, away from the keyboard. Voila, problem solved. The cat was ever-so-slightly leaning o­n the Esc key.
(One for Pesto...)

4. At the end of every work session, file all your paperwork.
Do not leave a single scrap of paper o­n your desktop. In this case, the excuse "the dog ate my homework" needs  to be corrected by exchanging "cat" for "dog".
(Two for Pesto...)

5. Never drink while sitting at your desk.

When your cat tries to drink out of your glass, she may get her head stuck in it and then...you don't want to hear the rest, it's not pretty...
(Three for Pesto...)

6. Work when it's time to work, play when it's time to play.
And don't play in your office, or your cats will come to expect it. o­nce your cat discovers the cursor, or anything else that moves o­n the computer screen, she will insist o­n playing. Typical behavior will include planting herself in front of the computor screen, mere millimeters away, for hours.

Or, if you play "offline" in your office with your cat, she may develop the habit of climbing your chest and oh-so-gently pushing your face away from looking at the monitor and towards looking at her.
(One for Pesto, o­ne for Bugger, respectively...)

And of course if you have more than two cats, the lessons multiply exponentially.

If you do find that your furry friends are preventing you from conducting your home business, here is a helpful link, guaranteed to buy you some much-needed alone time:

"Cat Bathing as a Martial Art" by Bud Herron

Even cat bathing teaches valuable lessons to a home business owner, for cat bathing requires perseverance and courage of conviction.

Now that you've learned these valuable lessons, good fortune with your home business (and with your pets). You are now armed withjhgj
(The rest of this article has been deleted by Bugger)


Glenn Beach is a self-employed subcontractor and home business entrepreneur at:

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